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The Dangers in Comfort
Fred Johnson • Mar 01, 2024

Since when is comfort dangerous? 

Technically comfort is not dangerous in-and-of itself. There are certainly periods of rest and comfort we should seek out and recover in. The challenge is: life is not always comfortable. It wasn’t designed to be. Life can be, and often is, hard and challenging. Mental health wellness can be defined by one’s ability to adapt and adjust to the demands of reality (Cloud and Townsend, 2007). The answer is that comfort becomes dangerous when we resist reality’s demand for us to be uncomfortable. Here are some ideas for you on how to embrace discomfort and adjust to the demands of life.

Embracing discomfort is not a natural thing for us. Naturally, our physical being seeks comfort and safety. Abraham Maslow suggested as early as 1943, a Hierarchy of Needs. At the very foundation is physiological needs (safety, food, shelter, water, clothing, and sleep). These keep us alive physically. We absolutely need them. However, every single one of them is hard and uncomfortable to procure of our own abilities. I’m personally thankful for every modern convenance that allows us to meet these basic needs in ease! 
Everything above this foundational “physiological needs” level involves the social and mental comforts. The confusion is that while we “need” these things like safety and security or love and belonging, often the path to obtaining them is difficult. Learning to embrace discomfort can be a huge step towards meeting our needs in very heathy ways. 

  • Want to make more friends and have a close-knit support group? Embrace the discomfort of attending a small group for the first time and being vulnerable. 
  • Want to have a tidy home and organized schedule? Embrace the pain of doing housework and writing out a calendar. 
  • Desire to have a truly peaceful rest in evenings where you can relax and enjoy life? Grind through the difficulties of the day so that the evening time is peaceful. 
  • Want to get help with your mental health? Click that “contact me now” button on the counselor’s website you’ve been eyeing for weeks. 
Each of us must embrace the discomfort required to achieve the goal or needs we seek. As soon as we wish for life to be comforting, we no longer are comfortable. When we learn to embrace the uncomfortable, we are comforted as a result. 

Life demands of us. Adjusting is key. If you’ve ever had one of “those weeks” you can relate to what I’m about to say: Some weeks are just harder on us than others. Some weeks, you are crushing life and accomplishing everything. Then other weeks, life is crushing and nothing you do seems to go right. If you’ve been through this (or are in one of "those weeks" right now), then let me encourage you. It is in your best interest to acknowledge this and make adjustments. That adjustment will mean different things depending on your personality. For some, a busy week will mean dialing back off of certain extras. For others, a busy week will mean leaning in and working harder to get everything done.  

One way you can know how to adjust to life is to ask, “At the end of the day, what decision will I be proud of myself for making?” 

Remember, being uncomfortable is not a problem, but resisting reality usually is. 

 






Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. S. (2007). Boundaries. Zondervan.com

By Fred Johnson 01 May, 2024
In our ever-increasingly-paced world, progress and victories in our mental health and wellbeing is often overlooked and minimized. Yet, our journey towards mental health wellness is one of personal measure. It is a journey marked by seasons of challenge, self-discovery, and an increasing inner strength. Taking a moment to celebrate our progress and growth is not only important, but also vital to continued growth. The greatest gift we may give ourselves in the pursuit of wellbeing, is the recognition and celebration of mental health growth. Here's some guiding ideas on how to celebrate mental health growth in yourself: Reflect on Your Progress : Take a moment to reflect on how far you've come. Consider the challenges you've faced and the obstacles you've overcome. Keeping a journal can be a helpful way to track your growth and reflect on your journey. Celebrate Milestones : Similar to celebrating a career milestone or achieving a personal fitness goal, celebrate your mental health milestones! Completing a therapy session, trying a new coping strategy, or simply getting through a difficult week, each step forward is worthy of recognition and celebration! Treat yourself to something special or engage in an activity that brings you joy to mark the occasion. Share Your Story : Sharing your journey of mental health growth can be empowering both for yourself and others. Usually this can help reduce stigma around mental health and provides a genuine connection between yourself and someone you trust. However you may choose to share your story, know that your voice has the power to inspire and uplift others. Practice Self-Compassion : Be gentle with yourself and recognize that healing is a nonlinear process. There will be ups and downs along the way, and it's okay to embrace both the triumphs and the setbacks as part of your journey. If it was easy, everyone would do it! It takes brave and resilient individuals to look inward with a willingness to grow. One of my favorite running coach phrases I’ve heard along the ways is, “It never gets easier, you just get better.” Life – health - mental wellness journeys, all are challenging and difficult. If you can learn to celebrate your growth and strength, you will get better. Be kind to yourself. Celebrate every percentile of growth you experience in your mental health. You’re the only one of you and that is special. .
By Fred Johnson 16 Apr, 2024
With the beauty of spring flowers and new growth naturally occurring all around us, I thought I would share some insights on what is required for growth to occur inside of us! Like plants, we require certain things to grow as a person and to improve mental health. Unlike plants, we have certain powers and abilities to select, change, or seek out the conditions for growth. If you’ve been feeling stuck for a while in your mental wellness journey, read on for some helpful tips. Let’s start with the environment. For any plant to grow, it is partially reliant upon the conditions of the environment. Air and soil temps, moisture and humidity, the amount of direct and indirect sunlight, and even the presence of herbivores in the area all influence what growth will and won’t occur. In us humans, it is good to evaluate: Are we in a growth inducing environment? Do those around me desire good for me? Will other’s pour into my life if needed? Seeking environment that meets your needs can be a critical step in growth. Second, plants require energy from the sun to grow. The miraculous process of photosynthesis allows plans to draw energy from sunlight and convert that into food and resources. It would be nice if we possessed the photosynthesis process as we could all have lunch breaks on sunny days outside and fill up! We do however have the need of energy to grow. Energy can come from many places and interactions. I encourage people to take notice of anytime an activity or interaction leaves them feeling positively energized, rather than drained. Too often, we give and use energy on things that only absorb it from us. If you want to enhance your growth, seek out intentional activities that return your energy. Thirdly, nutrients from soil are required in nearly all plant life. Nutrients are the building blocks of life on earth. Humans are no exception. We need the resources and knowledge on how to handle the many varieties of life stressors thrown our way. What you take into your mind matters. Reading books, listening to podcasts, or talking with a trusted advisor or counselor can be critical nutrients to growth! Finally, water. In plants, water is very often the exact trigger for seed germination and growth. Water is the chemical you and I can’t live without and also can’t have too much of. Water in our life means balance and consistency. When we overindulge in anything, including water, there are risks. One way to initiate growth in our mental health is to find ways to balance in the thoughts or habits that are consuming you. Sometimes talking with a counselor is a great resource for gaining insights on what is delaying growth you seek!
By Fred Johnson 01 Apr, 2024
At the time of posting this, it is the first day of April and here in middle Tennessee spring has fully begun! We have mild winters compared to many places in the world, but by the time spring finally rolls in, you’d think we middle Tennesseans had just escaped the arctic tundra! We welcome the budding trees and new-growth grasses. We endure the waves of pollen collecting on every imaginable surface everywhere. We recite at least once in the month of April the old proverb, “April showers bring May flowers.” I like to imagine we do this to instill the hope that our long suffering through tornado season and seasonal allergies will be rewarded with brighter days and beautiful flowers. There’s certainly nothing wrong with hope. I recommend it. The key is, in what or whom we place our hope. Hope in a brighter future is just one antidote for worry about it. Unfortunately, I think we all occasionally fall prey to the mounting pressures brought on by changes in our environment. The hope for May flowers can fail to comfort you when the showers of April coming your way include severe thunderstorms, tornados, or hail. These external stressors can certainly shake our internal peace or rob us of our mental health. A major factor that influences how much stress impacts us and our behavior is the location of what we perceive controls our life. This perception of the location of what controls our life events is called Locus of Control and was termed by Julian Rotters in 1954. He suggested that what we perceive as the underlying main cause(s) of the events in our lives determines a lot about how we respond to stress and challenges both now and in the future. He categorized two main location types: Internal and external. Here's a very basic summary of his brilliant model: to the extent you believe the location of control for your life lies within you (ex: your actions, attitudes, or decisions), or in external forces (Ex: fate, luck, or God), can have a major impact on your life. Everything from how you cope with stress, to deal with set-backs, or even decision making about your own future. It is important to note, most people fall somewhere between these two extremes. Externalizers is the term for those who feel like the cause or reason for their problem/discomfort/stress is outside of themself, originating from another person or situation. Internalizers believe they are responsible for they current situation and everything that happens is a consequence of their choices. As you can imagine, neither of these extremes is desirable. Here's an example: Event: An email arrives detailing an increased work load without increase in pay. Externalizer: "This isn't fair! I'm already stressed out and can barely keep up. They just want to drain every ounce of energy I have. Another nail in my coffin!" Internalizer: "Wow, I must be doing a great job! If I keep this up, they are going to promote me for sure. I've just got to keep it up. I can do it." Now if you read that and thought, "If only I was able to have that internalizer's attitude!" Let me warn you: for those that carry the responsibility of good and bad on their shoulders, failure becomes personal. A healthy balance of the two is suggested. No matter where you land on this spectrum of Locus of Control, let me give a helpful tip to encourage you to move more towards the middle. It is a simple phrase, credited to Viktor Frankl, "God determines what we go through. We determine how." You and I are certainly not in control of everything that happens to us in life. No one is able to be good enough all the time to prevent tough situations from happening. We must relinquish our impulse to demand control of it all, while also picking up the responsibility to navigate it. When you are facing unforeseen circumstances, remember this quote. Finding balance in who controls what in your life can be freeing.
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