June is a transition month here in Tennessee. We go from beautiful spring weather with its own quirks and unpredictability, to the full heat and humidity of summer. In doing so, we also move from the first half of the year to the second half. This is a big change as it seems each year the time it takes to get from January to July grows progressively shorter. Changes in life can be hard. To be transparent, adjusting to the weather changing is about the easiest type of change we must deal with. Transitioning from one stage of life or adjusting to sudden loss, disappointment, new or possibly self-inflicted stressors are typically more challenging. If you find yourself in the middle of change and struggling to adjust, the tool Radical Acceptance might be of help to you! Radical acceptance is a distress tolerance skill from Dialectical Behavioral therapy. Radical acceptance is intended to enable us to prevent the momentary pain we might be in, from becoming permeant suffering. My favorite way of framing this concept is, “To accept reality for what it is, while recognizing the need for change.” In other words, allowing ourselves to acknowledge, process, and feel the moment, while remaining aware and hopeful that we will be able to change at some point. What radical acceptance is not: approval or condoning. It is simply accepting by acknowledging what is. Here’s some examples of how this can sound in real life: Situation: You didn’t get the promotion you had hoped for. Normal response: “That is so unfair. I’ve worked harder than anyone and am way more dedicated.” Radical Acceptance: “I’m saddened that I didn’t get this promotion but accept that the found someone who they thought was more qualified. I will continue to do my best.” Situation: A loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness. Normal response: “I can’t believe this. This shouldn’t be happening. They don’t deserve this.” Radical acceptance: “This is heartbreaking and I’m not sure how to handle it. I accept that life is going to have to look different.” This simple tool allows us to tolerate things that we might struggle to adjust to. It is very much a tool for being somewhere between where we wanted life to go and where it is heading. Allowing ourselves to acknowledge what is going on without resistance is freeing. If you are in the middle of something right now that is hard, feel free to try this tool to make the distress of that, more manageable. If you find that practicing this is helpful, but want more help in the situation you’re in, I encourage you to reach out to a mental health counselor today.

Arriving at a destination is usually the goal of any road trip. Rarely do we begin a vacation or even drive across town without a reason or a destination in mind. I would suggest that for most of us, we can easily fixate on destinations, accomplishments, or final outcomes. Whether it be a career milestone, personal fitness goals, or social status, we can be easily tempted to constantly look for check-points to know how close we are to our goal. Unlike a road trip or career trajectory, our mental health is not a destination or fixed point. It is certainly not something we arrive at and never have to deal with again. Mental health is a multifaceted and dynamic component of our being. Unlike a destination-driven-goal, we must learn to embrace our journey each day. To practice embracing our mental health journey, a daily activity is helpful. Here’s what I can recommend to effectively embrace the journey of mental health. 1. List 5 positive and affirming statements regarding your mental health. For example, “I am open to healing.” “I am capable of learning.” “It is ok to be well.” Or, “I am beginning my wellness again today.” 2. Each day, pick one of your statements and post on a mirror. Then look yourself in the eye, repeating the phrase for 3 minutes. Study the words, your expression, or the sound of your voice as you say this. 3. Reflect on the impact the positive self-talk had afterward on your mood. It's ok to keep a log of this. Rate it on a scale of 1-5 with 1 being no impact and 5 being great impact. This is a safe and effective way to begin seeing our own mental wellness as a journey and to embrace that as part of life. Rather than enabling feelings of inadequacy and defeat when we are not yet at a perfect destination of mental health, let's embrace the journey as it is. Try this out and who knows, you might prove Mr. Emerson correct that the journey was indeed the destination all along.